Poem, “I, A Building Eruption”

I feel like there are cracks all over myself.
I’m afraid if I make a move, I will break apart.
So I stay still.

Even then fragments of myself slide away from me.

I take a breath, calm myself.
Inch by inch I attempt to retrieve the pieces.
But which bits do I save first?

Some I rescue, others are too far away.
What do I do? How do I put myself back together?

Should I glue it tight?
Nail it shut?
Maybe I’ll tie it up and pretend I’m a gift.
Silently praying my body knows how to heal by itself.
Maybe one day I’ll find a way to function without these ropes anymore.
Maybe then I’d have found a way to patch up the missing parts
Or grow myself anew.

But even if I fail,
Would you mind if I’m not whole?

-23 February 2017

I was trying to paint a picture of my anxiety. When I wrote it, I meant it for a friend to illustrate it into a short comic, but we never got to do it.

I still feel this way from time to time. I don’t think it ever goes away.

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